Feathering

23. Feathering.

I am tired but I haven’t felt this energetic in ages. This feels so great. Ahhh, I want more of this.

Especially when I don’t get too hurt after the fight. Actually, why have I been feeling so weak from the pain? I can just ignore the pain and enjoy fighting right? 

I wonder how it will taste. The more dangerous ones were often much tastier than the ant I had before.

I hold my knife and stab it in this stomach area. The dagger hits something hard and my hands go numb. Shouldn’t the stomach be the weakest part? I feel it with my hands and something really hard is there. I feel it up around the whole stomach area and it is everywhere.

It wasn’t this hard when I stabbed it in the neck. I go to the neck and start cutting it open from the holes I made previously.

Or I try to at least but the feathers make it impossible. They are strong and in the way. Even if I try to cut it the way they are going to the soft parts are still in the way and I can’t cut it.

Individually it wouldn’t be that bad but there are a bunch of them in such a small area, so it is impossible to cut the neck open this way.

I need to get the feathers out first. I wish there was an area that didn’t have any feathers but there are none. Except the beak or the claws but they are hard too. I couldn’t get anything to eat from them.

I wonder if I could use these feathers as a weapon. I did make one dagger from the horn of the deer. It should work with this too, right? I grab one of the feathers and pull as hard as I can, but it doesn’t come off. It is even hard to move it. I take my dagger and start hacking it in the middle of it. It is durable and I do leave some marks, but it would take forever to get through it.

How will I get these feathers away from the body? They are attached to its body, right? If I cut it from the part, it is attached it might come off? Right? I stab the meat part where it connects to the feather and it slides in easily. There is something round in there, so I cut around it and pull the feather out.

Bloody end of the feather that has a slight bulb comes out. I see why it was hard to pull it now.

I start doing the process again and again and stacking the feathers I take on the ground. Even doing something like this is fun. Why was I feeling so bad before? Killing beasts is what I should be doing.

Yes, killing every beast that make me feel bad or try to hurt me. I will just enjoy them myself. I need to stronger to do that comfortably and I will need to kill the fucking big creature too. It should be some kind of beras right?

It was tough fast and strong and all I could do was run away and even then; I would have died if the ball of fur didn’t save me.

The number of feathers I have right now is not enough. I need to get more of them and then turn them into small daggers or throwing weapons. I wonder if I just sharpen the tip, I could throw them like this.

The feather is so strong after all. It should work.

I will stop digging out the feathers now so I can taste the meat. I wish I could cook it like I could in the cave, but I don’t have the fucking stones with me.

I might as well eat it raw. I haven’t died yet from doing it before so it should be safe. Doesn’t matter even if it isn’t safe, I would rather die than eat the fucking ants again.

Aaah! I feel so free right now. I honestly don’t understand what I was doing before. Saving beasts? Trying to help everyone? What was I thinking? Everything just tries to hurt me.

Why would I care about them? Killing feels so much better. I felt much better after killing the bandits and if I didn’t, I would have been in so much trouble. I didn’t kill the bitch from the cave, and I got hurt because of it. Every beast I killed would have killed me if I didn’t kill them. It is normal. Even the spider wouldn’t have died if she didn’t try to help me.

I cannot be blamed for that. It is her fucking mistake. Right? Right? Right…

Yes, it is her mistake. I can’t be blamed for it. I actually did the right thing. She might have gotten hurt worse than that if I didn’t kill her. I did her a favor! She should be grateful.

The ball of fur. It only saved me to have my protection. Maybe it even lured the big beras to me so it can act like my savior. That bastard I will kill it the next time I see.

Where is it anyways? It always disappears when I fight to survive. It wouldn’t hurt it to help out a little now would it?

There is the sound of something falling in the water. It is the ball of fur. Just at the perfect time. When the danger is gone, and the spoils are ready to be share it just appears here. I might as get rid of it before it hurts me again.  

I watch it swim to the dead body of the bird and struggle to get up on it. It makes some sounds as it struggles to get up, but I just keep looking. It even looks at me after one of the failures. It keeps trying to get up until at some point in miraculously gets a hold of something with its paws and it pulls itself up on the bird.

I grab my dagger tighter and start walking toward the ball of fur. It just keeps walking toward me in its usual way.

I crouch down and hold my hand toward the ball of fur, it comes next to it and starts licking it. I bring the dagger closer to it, but it doesn’t seem to notice.

I put the blade on the ball of furs neck and it suddenly looks at me. I stare at its black eyes and press down the knife. The ball of fur makes a louder sound that I have heard and blood starts flowing from it, but it doesn’t run away.

Why doesn’t it run away? Why doesn’t it fight back? Why does it just stand there looking at me?

It turns its head away from me to my hand and starts licking it again.

I can’t understand it.

I don’t understand anything.

Chapter twenty-two.  Chapter twenty-four.