#23
#23
I made a successful potion finally,
like not only did I make it, I understood what happened and why. It feels much
simpler now since I was told the herbs` effects and mana circulations.
Before all I could do was
experiment and guess what they did but the mana in them made them unpredictable
for me. Like even depending on the person taking the potion or the herb the
mana amount in their bodies is important since it can either not affect you at
all or kill you just in itself.
Higher grade herbs even made use of
the mana to amplify or change their effects which made me really confused.
Then, if you mix the herbs with other ingredients or herbs that have mana it yet
again complicates things since they can easily not mix together.
You get the point, very complicated
stuff which is hard to understand by yourself by just trying things out.
I mean I could still understand them
eventually, but I do understand that it would have take ages and we don’t have
that much time to play around with things like this.
Tomorrow we will go to the forest with
our whole group. And we will see then what we can do afterwards.
----
A disappointment. Truly. Quite
unfortunate. Ahhh. They have had so much time to practice and get stronger here
so why are they so weak still? They even shy away from danger. How long have we
been on this journey? How many years have we been fighting with our lives on
the line and they still are scared of danger?
No, that is wrong. They haven’t been
fighting with their lives on the line. I have been protecting them always. No wonder
they haven’t improved. I have just babied them the whole trip and now it is
biting me in my ass.
Rann got injured. Seriously injured.
The potion I made before saved her life, but it was a close call. There was an
ambush and I had to fight off too many beasts to keep others as safe as they
could be, but she still got hurt. It was still too much for them even though I
took care of most of the beasts.
I don’t understand. The skeleton
should have come up with new magic already and gotten stronger from that right?
Or another way to use it. So, he would be stronger. Where did his magical
knowledge go?
Layla and the elf were disasters as
well, doing more harm than good. I should have forced them more. To follow my rules
instead of letting them be how they want to be.
Tefa was weak. Just like Rann. I do
understand that since they come from the low mana area, they are just weaker in
general, but they have been getting more mana in their bodies from the
environment, there should still be more improvement, right?
Am I asking for too much here? Did
I want too much? How would this be too much? I have barely even started to fulfill
my dreams and there are already so many setbacks.
I want her back and after that I
want to continue my fun journey to explore the world.
And I need the groups help with
that. I need them to get stronger too. I can’t do it by myself. Unless I want
to self-destruct.
I lashed out to them, after we got
to safety and we knew that Rann was going to survive I got so angry at everything,
so I just blamed it all on them. It was my fault for being too lenient with
them and not being responsible.
I was focused too much on my enjoyment
and not helping them grow. I didn’t fix the holes in our relationship and thought
them teamwork and other ways to use their skills and abilities. I didn’t teach
them how to fight. I didn’t learn anything myself either.
From now I will do better. I can’t
be lazy anymore.
#22
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